Why am I not sweatin' the petty stuff or pettin' the sweaty stuff?
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| Grayson didn't want to turn around to take the picture. |
Because I am beginning to learn that I just shouldn't. I have spent the last 2 years in a state of worry. I've spent them in a state of woe or even mourning, but I don't think that is the true description for it. I've just been different. Not myself. Sometimes I didn't even like myself. I would be in the moment, not being myself, knowing I wasn't being myself, and yet I still acted not myself! It was frustrating. I cried to Drew about it, my mom, my close friends. Why couldn't I just be me again? What happened to me? Is this what I was going to be like forever? Is this what a stressed out mom, teacher, parent of a special needs child, and wife acted like? I lamented who I used to be, I grieved over who I was becoming, and I longed for the old me.
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| Me preggers with Grayson and really really a Blondie! |
But I am slowly coming to realize that I will never be that person again. A lot has happened in my life in the past two years. I had Marloe, got pregnant with Grayson 6 months later while still learning how to be a mommy, then found out at birth that Grayson had Down Syndrome. I can't be the same person after going through all of those life changing events in less than two years. I am just now realizing that a year and a half later. I am beginning to accept who I am now, in the present.
The lamentation over the past me is slowly staying where it should stay...in the past. I like this newness. I like the feeling of accepting where I am in life
...Finally! I feel fresh, excited, like anything is possible. Bring it on Spring! I welcome your growth. I am going to grow with you.
March 21st marks World Down Syndrome Day. This is a day to raise awareness for people with Down Syndrome. But for me, every day is Down Syndrome Day. This is my life. I want to raise awareness every day. I want to tell my story to the world. That's why I started this blog. Its been so therapeutic to just get my thoughts out and maybe someone, somewhere is learning more about people with Down syndrome because they clicked my link or found me in this great big "web." I hope so. I know reading other parents of Down syndrome children's blogs like
Noah's Dad,
Pudge and Biggie, and
The Bates Motel has helped me. They have inspired me to share our life. Of all the resources, books, pamphlets, and websites out there on raising children with Down syndrome, other parents' stories have been the most helpful.
I have a special needs son, a typically developing daughter, and a wonderful husband who I share my crazy life with. I have a great supporting community of family, friends, and co-workers. And yes, Grayson has delays. He has therapies. Yes, I have to explain to strangers and acquaintances why he isn't walking yet or what living with a child with Down Syndrome is all about. But I don't care. I want to do that. I love talking about my children. Above all the diagnosis and chromosome counting, Grayson is my child, my son. He is my wonderful, curly haired, blue eyed, funny, stubborn, snotty, slobbery, and loving son.
And now more pics of
Our Trip to the Zoo
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| Marloe giving tokens to a wildlife project. |
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| Grayson watching tortoises. |
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| Family Shot with Nana (my mom) |
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| Nice people offered to take one of all of us. |
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| Now if only we were all cooperating...Marloe! |
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| Taking a break on the playground. |
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| Such a Little Sweetie! |
Hopefully I will post my Wordless Wednesday and make a post on 3/21, but if not
Happy World Down Syndrome Day! I'm loving all of my world Down syndrome days for the rest of my wonderful life!
